"do all the good you can...as long as ever you can."
where to start?
part of the reason I blog is to keep from having to retell the same story 100 times. but the main reason I blog is because I love expressing my feelings throughout our journey in this way. if you know me and all, you know I am never one that has a shortage of words. most of my blogs are done with both thumbs on my oversized smartphone while watching Netflix. and they just flow with minimal effort.
this blog is different though. it has been hanging over my head for 48 hours now and nothing is flowing.
if you missed the last blog, you may want to read it to get up to speed. basically, we felt we had done as much as we could as long as we could for the little girl in our care.
we have this quote hanging in our hall as a reminder of our purpose in this crazy life we have chosen. and it has been a great reminder these past few weeks.
our princess was scheduled to leave Monday. I was willing to bet that would not happen based on our previous dfcs experience. but I was hopeful. so I pushed back all I had scheduled for Monday with both jobs and made my self available for the move.
I called the case worker. and you guessed it. she very matter of factly said "I will come get her tomorrow morning at 9:30"
seriously?! tomorrow?
I feel as if I have spent the last month through the looking glass. I put in a 10 day notice for a transfer. that is there terminology. but apparently 10 days means 18. because that is how long it took. and Monday really means Tuesday. and every time I called, "we have (insert number here) kids in the office right now who have no where to go tonight!"
I quite frankly don't care. just because I care about this child enough to not drop her off at the office with her suitcase, she has to wait. this 5 year old also didn't start kindergarten during this whole time. she was supposed to move before school started so I didn't enroll her.
anyway. rant over. I suggested that I take the princess and her things (which as you can see from the picture, was a lot of stuff. shout out to our friends and family for lots of hand me downs!) to the new family's home that day (Monday) so we could un pack and get acquainted. and then the case worker could pick her up at 9:30 the next day and I could go on to work with the peace of mind that I had helped with the transition. she liked that idea. so that is what we did.
it is a long story as to how this all came to be. but simply, God brought this couple into our lives in late July through what seemed like total coincidence. everything since then has been more affirmation that she was supposed to live with them. so that is what we fought for. for about 25 days.
so when that finally happened, I have been filled with nothing but joy. I feel so strange and almost guilty saying to people that she has left our home with a smile on my face. and I know people don't get it. but I have been given an overwhelming peace that can only come from being in God's will.
I fought. I cried. I was angry. I was heart broken. so many questioned if I was sure this was the right choice, including my own husband. and in case you are wondering, God showed him all the same things He showed me in time and Aaron is also at peace now.
those of you who know me well also know that I don't lack anything in the stubborn department. so I called caseworkers daily and argued and cried and explained and cried and then explained it all over again several times, since apparently they don't pay attention or take notes.
but eventually it all payed off. tonight is her second night in her new home. she started kindergarten today. she is happy. she is loved. she is where she is supposed to be.
the little boys in our house appear to be generally unphased by her absence. the have asked where she is. and I know they love her. we all look forward to getting together with her in a couple of weeks. but her being in our home was a strain on all 5 of us. she IS NOT a sibling at her core. on top of everything else she is dealing with. and so I think the boys mostly feel a sense of relief. they had met her new family as well and been to her new house before they were even aware of what might happen so they know where she is and who she is with. I think that helps them know she is okay.
our cars and our house are a little less cramped and our hands are a little less full. but not our hearts. they have never been more full, actually. we already love her new family so much and are so excited to add them to ours. this has been a very challenging, but beautiful new way to foster love.
part of the reason I blog is to keep from having to retell the same story 100 times. but the main reason I blog is because I love expressing my feelings throughout our journey in this way. if you know me and all, you know I am never one that has a shortage of words. most of my blogs are done with both thumbs on my oversized smartphone while watching Netflix. and they just flow with minimal effort.
this blog is different though. it has been hanging over my head for 48 hours now and nothing is flowing.
if you missed the last blog, you may want to read it to get up to speed. basically, we felt we had done as much as we could as long as we could for the little girl in our care.
our princess was scheduled to leave Monday. I was willing to bet that would not happen based on our previous dfcs experience. but I was hopeful. so I pushed back all I had scheduled for Monday with both jobs and made my self available for the move.
I called the case worker. and you guessed it. she very matter of factly said "I will come get her tomorrow morning at 9:30"
seriously?! tomorrow?
I feel as if I have spent the last month through the looking glass. I put in a 10 day notice for a transfer. that is there terminology. but apparently 10 days means 18. because that is how long it took. and Monday really means Tuesday. and every time I called, "we have (insert number here) kids in the office right now who have no where to go tonight!"
I quite frankly don't care. just because I care about this child enough to not drop her off at the office with her suitcase, she has to wait. this 5 year old also didn't start kindergarten during this whole time. she was supposed to move before school started so I didn't enroll her.
anyway. rant over. I suggested that I take the princess and her things (which as you can see from the picture, was a lot of stuff. shout out to our friends and family for lots of hand me downs!) to the new family's home that day (Monday) so we could un pack and get acquainted. and then the case worker could pick her up at 9:30 the next day and I could go on to work with the peace of mind that I had helped with the transition. she liked that idea. so that is what we did.
it is a long story as to how this all came to be. but simply, God brought this couple into our lives in late July through what seemed like total coincidence. everything since then has been more affirmation that she was supposed to live with them. so that is what we fought for. for about 25 days.
so when that finally happened, I have been filled with nothing but joy. I feel so strange and almost guilty saying to people that she has left our home with a smile on my face. and I know people don't get it. but I have been given an overwhelming peace that can only come from being in God's will.
I fought. I cried. I was angry. I was heart broken. so many questioned if I was sure this was the right choice, including my own husband. and in case you are wondering, God showed him all the same things He showed me in time and Aaron is also at peace now.
those of you who know me well also know that I don't lack anything in the stubborn department. so I called caseworkers daily and argued and cried and explained and cried and then explained it all over again several times, since apparently they don't pay attention or take notes.
but eventually it all payed off. tonight is her second night in her new home. she started kindergarten today. she is happy. she is loved. she is where she is supposed to be.
the little boys in our house appear to be generally unphased by her absence. the have asked where she is. and I know they love her. we all look forward to getting together with her in a couple of weeks. but her being in our home was a strain on all 5 of us. she IS NOT a sibling at her core. on top of everything else she is dealing with. and so I think the boys mostly feel a sense of relief. they had met her new family as well and been to her new house before they were even aware of what might happen so they know where she is and who she is with. I think that helps them know she is okay.
our cars and our house are a little less cramped and our hands are a little less full. but not our hearts. they have never been more full, actually. we already love her new family so much and are so excited to add them to ours. this has been a very challenging, but beautiful new way to foster love.
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