termination of parental rights.

according to adoption.com:

Circumstances That Are Grounds for Termination of Parental Rights Ann. Code §§ 15-11-58; 15-11-94
The court may terminate a parent’s parental rights when there is clear and convincing evidence of parental misconduct or inability, and the court finds that such termination is in the best interests of the child. The court by order may terminate the parental rights of a parent with respect to the parent’s child if:

• The parent has willfully failed to comply with a court order to pay child support for a period of 12 months or longer.
• The parent has abandoned the child.
• The child is a deprived child due to the lack of proper parental care or control, the cause of deprivation is likely to continue or will not likely be remedied, and the continued deprivation will cause or is likely to cause serious physical, mental, emotional, or moral harm to the child.
• The parent is unable to provide adequately for the physical, mental, emotional, or moral condition and needs of the child due to:
  • A medically verifiable deficiency of the parent’s physical, mental, or emotional health
  • Excessive use of or history of chronic unrehabilitated abuse of intoxicating liquors or narcotic or dangerous drugs or controlled substances
  • Incarceration of the parent that has a demonstrable negative effect on the quality of the parent-child relationship
  • Egregious conduct or evidence of past egregious conduct of the parent toward the child or toward another child of a physically, emotionally, or sexually cruel or abusive nature
  • Physical, mental, or emotional neglect of the child or evidence of past neglect of the child or of another child by the parent
  • Injury or death of a sibling that resulted from parental neglect or abuse
• The child is not in the custody of the parent, and the parent without justifiable cause has failed significantly for a period of 1 year or longer prior to the filing of the petition for termination of parental rights:
  • To develop and maintain a parental bond with the child in a meaningful, supportive manner
  • To provide for the care and support of the child as required by law or judicial decree
  • To comply with a court-ordered plan designed to reunite the child with the parent
• The parent has been convicted of the murder of the child’s other parent.

we went to court today. this was our first experience there. we were told to get there at 9:30. so was their mother. they called our case at 10:30. she was still not there and had not responded to text messages. our case was currently "persuing reunification" (reuniting mother and children). the judge asked if the case worker proposed a change in case status. she recommended a "concurrent case plan" which basically means that they pursue the possibility of reunification as well as adoption. here comes the moment that I still can't believe really happened... the judge basically asked, "is there any reason why we shouldn't go ahead and move to "non reunification" and start a "tpr package"?" our case worker looked to her supervisor and the attorney. they all looked shocked and responded "yeah, we can do that."
I have seen more consideration and deliberation giving to changing a lunch destination. it was all so matter of fact. this is probably what is best at this point. but I felt such a rush of emotions all over again. I wish she deserved them. I wish she was what they needed. I wish reunification was possible. but at this point it is not. it is done. within 60 days she will no longer legally be their mother anymore. I can't even begin to understand how one can mourn and rejoice in the same moment. but that is what we are doing.

so what happens next?
good question. it is relatively promising that all three boys will stay where they are at and be adopted by us and the Baxters. there are still a few hurdles. I won't go into detail on here. if you are interested, feel free to ask me privately. we are praying for peace. today was proof to me that they are in the palm of His hand. we have to continue believing that.

obviously our boys know nothing about any of this at this point. so please don't mention anything in front of them. pray for them. she is their mother. she always will be. they will never forget her. they will always be curious about her. pray for their spirits to be resilient through it all.

upon leaving court the four of us went to lunch, the Baxters and Aaron and I. we had some really serious talks. we also laughed harder than the we have in a long while. like we could hardly breathe and we had tears in our eyes and our stomachs hurt. most of what we found funny wouldn't even make sense even if I explained it. but it was exactly what we all needed. I can never express how thankful I am to share this journey with them.

today definitely brought so much closure along with so much uncertainty. we are anxiously awaiting the future, come what may. I will leave you with one of my favorite quote. I think I have shared it before...

(pictured above is smalls, Isabel Baxter, biggie, and Grant Baxter)