how we are doing
so as I shared not so long ago, I started new job at Saint Mark. so far it is everything that I hoped it would be. Biggie is having a hard time adjusting. he is getting better but when he is at church he can sense that I am with him but I am not WITH him. this results in him acting out to get my attention and not just at church. the other day he was running away from me when I was calling him so I chased after him. a older woman saw us and said, "you shouldn't be chasing him, you need to make him come to you."
seriously. I gave her a slight smirk and continued chasing him. it took everything in me to control my emotions. I wanted to yell and cry all at the same time. why do people feel the need to say things like that to complete strangers. had catching up to him not been my first priority, I would have loved to stop her for some advice. after all she seemed to know it all.
what would she do if she were 25 years old and had never had any children and had decided to take on a three and a four year old that had been in 5 homes in a year, had no father figures, had seen way more than they should and had not experienced as much love and nurturing as they needed. you can't spank them, or physically discipline them in any way. even though they will most likely hit and kick you. they are not trusting and they tell lies. you will have to go to visits with caseworkers at least once a month. they will have visits with their mom. if they enjoy the visit you deal with them acting out because they want to be with her instead of you. if they don't you deal with them acting out because they don't like you leaving them with her.
I am not complaining. just venting. the next time you see someone struggling and you want to cast judgment on the way they are handling it, don't. if you are going to say anything, be encouraging. it reminds me of my favorite quote.
now for an update... everyone asks how we are doing. how we are adjusting to being parents. how the boys are adjusting to us. where they stand with their mom and the process on that.
so as for the four of us in our house, we are so HAPPY! Aaron and I have never been better. our marriage gets stronger every day. we are truly so fortunate. and we love these boys so much. I think the boys are pretty happy too. they have gotten mighty spoiled. they are doing really well though. we have our moments. I mean, after all, they are 3 and 4 year old boys. they stink, they whine, they cry, they fight, they throw tantrums, they need help to do most everything. but they also laugh and sing and smile and dance and jump and run. and they give the best kisses and hugs. they love so intensely. it is a beautiful thing to experience.
as for everything with their mom. that is about as clear as mud. we think their will be some answers in the next month or two but that is wishful thinking. after I say that in person, everyone asks "then you will adopt them right?" there is much more to it than that. given the opportunity we will apply to adopt them. ultimately our goal is whatever is best for them long term. if that isn't with us, we will have to find peace in that.
this is the part where most people say "y'all are going to have a hard time giving them up." I know people mean well but I hate hearing that. seriously? we are well adjusted adult and we will probably not leave the house for a day or two and spend weeks crying and months if not years healing but WE WILL BE FINE! these boys moved more times in one year than I have in my 25 years of life. they are the ones that need your prayers. but they will be fine too. the awesome part in all of this and what I have to remind myself of daily is that no matter where we all are a year from now. God will be with us. and I know He is watching over our boys, even when we can't.
seriously. I gave her a slight smirk and continued chasing him. it took everything in me to control my emotions. I wanted to yell and cry all at the same time. why do people feel the need to say things like that to complete strangers. had catching up to him not been my first priority, I would have loved to stop her for some advice. after all she seemed to know it all.
what would she do if she were 25 years old and had never had any children and had decided to take on a three and a four year old that had been in 5 homes in a year, had no father figures, had seen way more than they should and had not experienced as much love and nurturing as they needed. you can't spank them, or physically discipline them in any way. even though they will most likely hit and kick you. they are not trusting and they tell lies. you will have to go to visits with caseworkers at least once a month. they will have visits with their mom. if they enjoy the visit you deal with them acting out because they want to be with her instead of you. if they don't you deal with them acting out because they don't like you leaving them with her.
I am not complaining. just venting. the next time you see someone struggling and you want to cast judgment on the way they are handling it, don't. if you are going to say anything, be encouraging. it reminds me of my favorite quote.
now for an update... everyone asks how we are doing. how we are adjusting to being parents. how the boys are adjusting to us. where they stand with their mom and the process on that.
so as for the four of us in our house, we are so HAPPY! Aaron and I have never been better. our marriage gets stronger every day. we are truly so fortunate. and we love these boys so much. I think the boys are pretty happy too. they have gotten mighty spoiled. they are doing really well though. we have our moments. I mean, after all, they are 3 and 4 year old boys. they stink, they whine, they cry, they fight, they throw tantrums, they need help to do most everything. but they also laugh and sing and smile and dance and jump and run. and they give the best kisses and hugs. they love so intensely. it is a beautiful thing to experience.
as for everything with their mom. that is about as clear as mud. we think their will be some answers in the next month or two but that is wishful thinking. after I say that in person, everyone asks "then you will adopt them right?" there is much more to it than that. given the opportunity we will apply to adopt them. ultimately our goal is whatever is best for them long term. if that isn't with us, we will have to find peace in that.
this is the part where most people say "y'all are going to have a hard time giving them up." I know people mean well but I hate hearing that. seriously? we are well adjusted adult and we will probably not leave the house for a day or two and spend weeks crying and months if not years healing but WE WILL BE FINE! these boys moved more times in one year than I have in my 25 years of life. they are the ones that need your prayers. but they will be fine too. the awesome part in all of this and what I have to remind myself of daily is that no matter where we all are a year from now. God will be with us. and I know He is watching over our boys, even when we can't.
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