an unexpected court date
so we were scheduled last November to go to court on May 4th for biggie and smalls. Friday we were told that day was cancelled and they would let us know when it was rescheduled. well Tuesday they rescheduled it for Wednesday. as in yesterday. awesome. it really worked out fine. Aaron couldn't come, but my wonderful Momma was their with me. it is just funny to me how this whole system operates at times.
court happens every 6 months whether there is progress or not so I have gotten to where I don't expect anything eventful.
it was a "permanency hearing" which means their goal is to get these boys "out of foster care" and into a permanent situation. they brought the paperwork to terminate parental rights. but the lawyer forgot her notary stamp. yep. so she promised to submit it to the judge by the end of the day yesterday or first thing today. once he has that we will have another hearing where he will officially sign off on that paperwork making them legally free for adoption.
we aren't quite home free yet. but it is a step in the right direction.
before then, dna testing will be done to try and determine who small's dad is. hopefully we will do that on Tuesday and have results within a week or so of testing.
when speaking of biggie, they stated that they had no father named for him. the only potential one had been ruled out by dna.
it was hard to hear them discussing the boys. their names came out of the judge and the attorneys' mouths like they were so familiar. but they have never met them. they have never heard their voices or kissed their cheeks. they have never had the boys kick them or spit at them. they have never comforted them during a doctors appointment, or in the middle of the night after a bad dream. they have not seen the smile that takes up their whole face when you praise them for being a good big brother or learning to write their name.
one day, in the not so distant future, these boys will wonder who fathered them. they will wonder who is responsible for half of their being. I am hopeful that we will know who small's dad is. that is pretty likely at this point. but as for biggie, no one knows. no one. not even a name.
the judge and the attorneys won't be there when those questions are asked. they won't be there on the first day of kindergarten or when they learn to ride a bike. they won't be there when they are angry or happy or sad.
but they were there yesterday in that courtroom. it was brief. there was little debate or questioning of anything. all very matter of fact. we were appointed a CASA (court appointed special advocate) a couple of months ago. she has gotten to know us pretty well. her recommendation was to move forward with tpr and that the boys all be adopted by their current foster families (including their brother, sugar ray being fostered by friends of ours). everyone in the room nodded in agreement and that was it. they were there for these boys today. and they did right by them.
we are not at the finish line yet. but we can see it from here. I don't know if you have ever ran a race. but I have done several 5 and 10ks and even two half marathons. I trained for a year each time. by mile 12 I was ready to just lay down and die. there was nothing to give me hope. until I finally caught sight of that finish line. the first one I ran, the moment I saw it, "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey came on my mp3 player, no lie, and I smiled and pressed on with a new found energy, knowing that it would all be worth it.
these boys have a piece of my heart that I never knew existed. Aaron and I have given them our all for the past 18 months and we are thankful and hopeful for the opportunity to continue to do so for the rest of our lives.
court happens every 6 months whether there is progress or not so I have gotten to where I don't expect anything eventful.
it was a "permanency hearing" which means their goal is to get these boys "out of foster care" and into a permanent situation. they brought the paperwork to terminate parental rights. but the lawyer forgot her notary stamp. yep. so she promised to submit it to the judge by the end of the day yesterday or first thing today. once he has that we will have another hearing where he will officially sign off on that paperwork making them legally free for adoption.
we aren't quite home free yet. but it is a step in the right direction.
before then, dna testing will be done to try and determine who small's dad is. hopefully we will do that on Tuesday and have results within a week or so of testing.
when speaking of biggie, they stated that they had no father named for him. the only potential one had been ruled out by dna.
it was hard to hear them discussing the boys. their names came out of the judge and the attorneys' mouths like they were so familiar. but they have never met them. they have never heard their voices or kissed their cheeks. they have never had the boys kick them or spit at them. they have never comforted them during a doctors appointment, or in the middle of the night after a bad dream. they have not seen the smile that takes up their whole face when you praise them for being a good big brother or learning to write their name.
one day, in the not so distant future, these boys will wonder who fathered them. they will wonder who is responsible for half of their being. I am hopeful that we will know who small's dad is. that is pretty likely at this point. but as for biggie, no one knows. no one. not even a name.
the judge and the attorneys won't be there when those questions are asked. they won't be there on the first day of kindergarten or when they learn to ride a bike. they won't be there when they are angry or happy or sad.
but they were there yesterday in that courtroom. it was brief. there was little debate or questioning of anything. all very matter of fact. we were appointed a CASA (court appointed special advocate) a couple of months ago. she has gotten to know us pretty well. her recommendation was to move forward with tpr and that the boys all be adopted by their current foster families (including their brother, sugar ray being fostered by friends of ours). everyone in the room nodded in agreement and that was it. they were there for these boys today. and they did right by them.
we are not at the finish line yet. but we can see it from here. I don't know if you have ever ran a race. but I have done several 5 and 10ks and even two half marathons. I trained for a year each time. by mile 12 I was ready to just lay down and die. there was nothing to give me hope. until I finally caught sight of that finish line. the first one I ran, the moment I saw it, "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey came on my mp3 player, no lie, and I smiled and pressed on with a new found energy, knowing that it would all be worth it.
these boys have a piece of my heart that I never knew existed. Aaron and I have given them our all for the past 18 months and we are thankful and hopeful for the opportunity to continue to do so for the rest of our lives.
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