five years ago today
five years ago today, I finally got my wedding pictures! the anticipation was killing me. I had been married 27 days. I had just tested for my cosmetology license. I wasn't working yet so my days consisted of watching the id channel and making our house more of a home. it was definitely one of the simplest yet most wonderful times of my life.
meanwhile, 590 miles away, a girl, who had just turned 16 herself 11 days prior, was in labor. at 12:02 am on January 27th she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy (obviously, I wasn't there. however, he is so adorable now, so I can safely bet that he was a gorgeous baby!)
fast forward 5 years and through several unfortunate events, this boy is in my house. he calls my home his home. he calls me his mommy. and my husband his daddy. we never wanted this to happen. yet he is everything we have ever wanted. I wish he could stay this small forever. I can't wait to see the man he grows to be. him being my son is one of the most beautiful and wonderful things I have ever experienced. him being my son is one of the most heartbreaking and terrible things I have ever experienced. more than anything in the world, I wish he could be raised by the woman who birthed him. my second wish, that often rivals with the first, is that I am fortunate enough to be his mother forever.
this world we all live in is so backwards. it is so far from what God intended. everything about the lives of these children that live in my home is nothing like what He wanted. but after the fall of man, this is how He called us to respond. and I have never done anything more challenging than loving these children. but nothing has ever felt more natural than loving these children.
this little boy, who will probably be 5 by the time you read this, has lived so much in those short years. and he has so much ahead. he is smart and goofy and brave and insecure and adorable and silly and strong yet weak. he always has to be touching me. if I am not giving him the amount of attention he wants, he will latch on to my leg and slide around the floor as I walk. most days, I can't wait for him to outgrow this. but tonight, I stopped to soak it in and almost enjoy it. I love this little one more than I could have ever imagined. I am so thankful for the 5 years of his life until now. I am so excited for the rest of his story to unfold. happy birday, bigs! guess what! I love you!
meanwhile, 590 miles away, a girl, who had just turned 16 herself 11 days prior, was in labor. at 12:02 am on January 27th she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy (obviously, I wasn't there. however, he is so adorable now, so I can safely bet that he was a gorgeous baby!)
fast forward 5 years and through several unfortunate events, this boy is in my house. he calls my home his home. he calls me his mommy. and my husband his daddy. we never wanted this to happen. yet he is everything we have ever wanted. I wish he could stay this small forever. I can't wait to see the man he grows to be. him being my son is one of the most beautiful and wonderful things I have ever experienced. him being my son is one of the most heartbreaking and terrible things I have ever experienced. more than anything in the world, I wish he could be raised by the woman who birthed him. my second wish, that often rivals with the first, is that I am fortunate enough to be his mother forever.
this world we all live in is so backwards. it is so far from what God intended. everything about the lives of these children that live in my home is nothing like what He wanted. but after the fall of man, this is how He called us to respond. and I have never done anything more challenging than loving these children. but nothing has ever felt more natural than loving these children.
this little boy, who will probably be 5 by the time you read this, has lived so much in those short years. and he has so much ahead. he is smart and goofy and brave and insecure and adorable and silly and strong yet weak. he always has to be touching me. if I am not giving him the amount of attention he wants, he will latch on to my leg and slide around the floor as I walk. most days, I can't wait for him to outgrow this. but tonight, I stopped to soak it in and almost enjoy it. I love this little one more than I could have ever imagined. I am so thankful for the 5 years of his life until now. I am so excited for the rest of his story to unfold. happy birday, bigs! guess what! I love you!
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