we "do Christmas"

I have been putting this blog off. since last Christmas really. I don't like talking about things that I feel very strongly about that I know the general population disagrees with. I guess no one does. but I try to avoid it. mostly because I don't want to be misunderstood or judged falsely.

so this will be my first blog ever with rules:
1. read the entire blog before forming any opinions about how we chose to do things.
2. regardless of what your opinion is, allow us to have our own. we will return the favor.
3. don't respond to this blog by harassing me in public or online about how we chose do things. even jokingly. it gets old. I would never tell anyone why I think they are wrong for doing Santa.

so if you are willing to follow the rules, here goes.

my background :
I over think everything. I over analyze from every angle. I question everything.  I always have. at least for as long as I can remember. so this whole Santa gig didn't last long with me. I have no memories of "magic" or "wonder". not to say there wasn't any, but it isn't what stuck. what I remember is questioning Santa and realizing it was all not real from a young age and adults constantly trying to convince me of otherwise. no offense to any of those adults, but it left me feeling annoyed, frustrated and insulted. in my teenage years, I became anti-Santa.
the older I got the more I have had the attitude of "you do what you want and I will do what I want" when it comes to Santa. I have never and will never take it upon myself to tell a child who does not live in my home what to believe about the matter.
but in the past year I have had to really kick around what this will look like in our house. none of the children in my home are "mine". if they aren't with me every Christmas for the rest of their childhood, I certainly don't want to take away from the experience someone else wants for them. but I also know what I feel is right for "us".

my opinion:
Santa is out of control. I work with children in a church setting. ask them any question in church 10 months out of the year, and without thought, they shout, "JESUS!" my 3 year old is already trained to do it. crazy. but come November 1st,  that all turns to mush. the majority of the kids first response to Christmas is presents and what they want and what Santa is bringing. no matter how hard their parents try to counter the elves and Santa and toys with devotions and nativities and advent, selfishness wins. I don't blame this on the guy in red or parents. it isn't about blaming anyone. the fact of the matter is that it is nearly impossible to make it through the season without anyone's attention being pulled in a million directions. especially children. I think it is my job to combat that issue head on with my children and I feel eliminating Santa is the best way for me to do it.
20 years ago you could just not mention Santa in your own home and that would be enough. he was more like a Disney character. but now he is everywhere.

my stance:
now I have 3 children in my home.
one is 3 and has been in our home a little over a month. he was raised by a family member as a jehovah witness for the past two years. this is not his mothers religion and she said we are free to do what we want in that regard. he has not mentioned anything about Santa or presents. someone gave him an early Christmas gift over Thanksgiving and he just stared at the wrapped gift, clueless. once he saw the other boys opening them and toys inside he eventually figured it out :) he has said nothing about Santa or presents. it is kind of refreshing.
two are bio brothers, 3 and 4, and have been with us for a year. they had no previous memories of Santa. last year the now 4 year old heard about him at daycare and mentioned him some, but I just always said "Santa doesn't come to our house. you will still get presents but that isn't what Christmas is about, is it?" ::insert conversation about Christ's birth here::
this year the now 3 year old has asked the same questions and gotten the same answers.
this year the 4 year old asked the same questions but when I replied, he asked "why won't Santa come to my house?"

his background:
my initial thoughts on all of this were confirmed last year. one day, out of nowhere, he said, "what is Santa gon do to me if I am bad?" with so much fear in his eyes. this kid has so much fear. and so little trust. he has the least amount of trust in me, even though he will tell you that I am his favorite person. I think he projects all of his previous feelings for his mother onto me. all the love, and fear. and no trust. I have to be very intentional in earning his trust. I refuse to contribute in allowing him to believe anything that is glaringly false when at all possible.
I also don't have any guarantee of how long any of these children will be in my care. so I want to focus as much energy as possible on instilling them with faith in Jesus Christ as well as love and character. nothing else matters.

so back to the big question. "why doesn't Santa come to my house?" to which I explained to him that some people believe in Santa and that is okay. but he isn't real. and I am choosing to tell him that. and he doesn't need to tell other kids. he looked confused and I explained that it was up to their moms and dads to tell them when they chose. I assured him that presents would still be received and he has not mentioned the topic again.

I don't have a simple answer to how this will look for every kid to ever live in our home. we will simply handle it case by case, question by question. we will answer very honestly and carefully.

the bottom line:
I hope in reading this your realize that I don't think Santa is evil. it is just something we "don't do".
we do however "do Christmas" Jesus and His birth and love and all that this season is really about. and we are trying to "throw off all that hinders" us from doing that. I would stop doing presents too, but then y'all would really call me crazy!
(totally kidding. in moderation, presents remind us that Jesus and His love is God's gift to us.)