a letter to myself...
For those of you I haven't spoken to in person lately, sorry I haven't blogged in so long. We are in what I have titled as the waiting phase. It has been frustrating and I am quite impatient. This has resulted to me pushing it all to the back of my mind as much as possible. Which means no blogging :) We have completed our training and our end of the paperwork. Just waiting on the glorious state of Georgia dfacs office to finish their end.
Though I am growing more impatient by the day, I remind myself to soak this time up. Alone time. Alone time with my husband. Coming home from a 13 hour day at work and not having to worry about anyone but myself. Working a 13 hour day. A lot of things will change in an instant. I have no idea when that instant will be. But one day in the not so far off future we will get a phone call and within 24 hours, we will be parents. I am excited about those changes. However, I don't want our reasons for doing this to change based on our emotions. So I've decided to write a letter to myself and Aaron that I am going to count on my wonderful mother to remind us to read in the days immediately following our lives being turned completely upside down. And again in the months to follow if necessary. So here goes...
Dear Sarah Jane and Aaron,
Well the long awaited day has come! You're foster parents! And your probably going to have moments of thinking why the heck did we do this again?! So let this remind you:
You have been called to foster love.
You were not called to foster a specific child of a specific age or gender or race or condition.
You have been called to foster love.
You have not been called to be the forever parents of these children. You have not yet been called to adoption. You have not been called to solve this childs past or future. Just simply to foster love.
And not just the children.
You are also responsible for loving the parents of these children. Regardless or who or where they are, you need to love them. God loves them. And the children in your home will love them. No matter what. So you need to do the same. They are not the enemy. If at all possible, you need to help and encourage them. Odds are that one day the children in your home will return to them. Whether the state orders it in a few months or they return on their own after 18. You'll want to know that you have done everything in your power to help them become people that are deserving of your foster children's love. You can't change them and control them. But you will never have this opportunity back to attempt to make an impact.
This will probably be the hardest thing. It will be easy to think that they don't deserve their children and that they don't deserve your time. Remind yourself that you, in the same way don't deserve God's love. He will help you find the strength and the words.
Remind yourself that all of the seemingly ridiculous rules dfacs has are their to protect you and the children.
Remind yourself that every day with the children is a gift and an opportunity. An opportunity to make this a time in the midst of turmoil and fear that they felt loved and safe. As opposed to just a holding place for them until their parents get their act together.
Remind yourself when you cannot comprehend why a child is behaving the way they are, that you also cannot not comprehend the way they feel. As a child you never had to experience neglect, abuse, or abandonment. You experienced love. In a way they have probably never experienced.
Remind yourself every single day, as many times as necessary, that you are called to foster love. Love these children, their families, the case workers, and everyone else in your life at this season with all that you have. You will never regret that.
And lastly-
Love,
Yourselves :)
Though I am growing more impatient by the day, I remind myself to soak this time up. Alone time. Alone time with my husband. Coming home from a 13 hour day at work and not having to worry about anyone but myself. Working a 13 hour day. A lot of things will change in an instant. I have no idea when that instant will be. But one day in the not so far off future we will get a phone call and within 24 hours, we will be parents. I am excited about those changes. However, I don't want our reasons for doing this to change based on our emotions. So I've decided to write a letter to myself and Aaron that I am going to count on my wonderful mother to remind us to read in the days immediately following our lives being turned completely upside down. And again in the months to follow if necessary. So here goes...
Dear Sarah Jane and Aaron,
Well the long awaited day has come! You're foster parents! And your probably going to have moments of thinking why the heck did we do this again?! So let this remind you:
You have been called to foster love.
You were not called to foster a specific child of a specific age or gender or race or condition.
You have been called to foster love.
You have not been called to be the forever parents of these children. You have not yet been called to adoption. You have not been called to solve this childs past or future. Just simply to foster love.
And not just the children.
You are also responsible for loving the parents of these children. Regardless or who or where they are, you need to love them. God loves them. And the children in your home will love them. No matter what. So you need to do the same. They are not the enemy. If at all possible, you need to help and encourage them. Odds are that one day the children in your home will return to them. Whether the state orders it in a few months or they return on their own after 18. You'll want to know that you have done everything in your power to help them become people that are deserving of your foster children's love. You can't change them and control them. But you will never have this opportunity back to attempt to make an impact.
This will probably be the hardest thing. It will be easy to think that they don't deserve their children and that they don't deserve your time. Remind yourself that you, in the same way don't deserve God's love. He will help you find the strength and the words.
Remind yourself that all of the seemingly ridiculous rules dfacs has are their to protect you and the children.
Remind yourself that every day with the children is a gift and an opportunity. An opportunity to make this a time in the midst of turmoil and fear that they felt loved and safe. As opposed to just a holding place for them until their parents get their act together.
Remind yourself when you cannot comprehend why a child is behaving the way they are, that you also cannot not comprehend the way they feel. As a child you never had to experience neglect, abuse, or abandonment. You experienced love. In a way they have probably never experienced.
Remind yourself every single day, as many times as necessary, that you are called to foster love. Love these children, their families, the case workers, and everyone else in your life at this season with all that you have. You will never regret that.
And lastly-
Love,
Yourselves :)
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