grace
"Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt,
yonder on Calvary's mount out-poured,
"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer."
Romans 13:1-4
"Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor."
1 Peter 2:13-17
we knew signing up for foster care meant full submission. we have seen where dfcs makes decisions that we don't like or agree with. there are also times where people just plain drop the ball. it can be infuriating. but it has always been apparent that our concern is not whether or not dfcs is in the right. it does not change their authority over us.
but we are still human. I do my best to submit to them as often as needed. but I still have my "why's"? we still have days, where the weight of all of it is just so heavy, breathing seems near impossible. it is really easy to want to give up. it is so easy to just want to walk away and leave the mounds of troubles and discouragement to the next sucker that "feels called".
so did I mention that these girls joined our home on Wednesday of Holy Week?
do you often catch yourself saying "whoa is me?"
have you ever woken up, after 3 hours of sleep, to the reality that you now share your 1400 sq ft home (and ONE toilette) with 8 other people, 5 of which you have to drive to 5 different places every morning? and meanwhile dealing with all the dfcs FUN that is mixed in with it. 9 out of 10 people would probably agree that this merits a pity party and probably a pint of ice cream.
but then Thursday came. I went to our communion service that evening by myself. because who in their right mind would keep 5 children 6 and under out until 8:30 on a week night? so Aaron stayed home with the kids.
we remembered the disciples' last supper with Jesus. and all I could think about was the cross. in the moments when I thought, "Lord, how much longer? how much more?" I immediately all but chuckled at myself. seriously?
I know that people think what we are doing is so noble. so sacrificial. or maybe so crazy. but don't you see?! He gave His LIFE for us! this is nothing in comparison. my life, my home, my husband, my time, my sanity. none of it is truly "mine". so how could I be stingy with it? I deserve death. and He chose ME and gave me life.
grace:
ɡrās/
noun
1.simple elegance or refinement of movement.
"she moved through the water with effortless grace"
synonyms: elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse; More
2.(in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.
this word has filled my mind through all this. I remember learning about grace in middle school. simply put, I was told it was "getting something you didn't deserve".
I like the first definition, "refinement of movement". getting everyone where they need to go in the morning these days is quite the task. everything must be done properly. children must be in the right car seats in the right order by the right time and then driven to the right places. every movement is refined. I am sure that nothing about it looks elegant. but each morning is such a reminder of grace.
and then there are our oldest boys. Isaiah and Von are "our grace". we did nothing to merit being their parents. I didn't birth them. but yet, our Lord saw fit that our paths cross. and that 8 million little details fall into place so that we could be entrusted with them, for the rest of our lives. it is comforting in the midst of this uncertainty and chaos to know that they are ours. they are handling all of this so well. they have stepped up once again and are giving so much so willingly.
I have also decided that one of the best pictures of grace, is brothers (or sisters) who aren't "brothers" at all by the world's definition, both in need of a home and love, growing any learning together and from each other, for as long as they can.
so I know Easter was a week ago. if I had it together, I would have written this then. lets just rewind 7 days for a minute. Christ gave His life for you to have eternity in paradise.
we went on a cruise the week after the boys adoption. it was wonderful. I wish it could have lasted an eternity.
let's pretend that you are a parent. you tell your kids, "I cashed in everything we own so that we could go and live on a Disney cruise forever! lets get in the car and go." only catch is that you have to drive 6 hours to get there. what an awesome thing, right. eternity on a cruise? surely those 6 hours will be the most peaceful ever. none of your children will fight or complain or ask "are we there yet?" they will just be so happy to have an eternity of wonderfulness that nothing else will matter right? that would make since. but if you have ever spent 10 minutes in a car with children, you can probably assume that is not how it would go.
this analogy reminds me so much of our lives. it's like a 6 hour car ride. in light of eternity, it is so minuscule and insignificant. so why do we worry so much of it about the things that don't matter.
I know our life sounds so hard and undesirable most days. but I can honestly tell you that is so far from the truth. I LOVE every aspect of it. and everywhere we turn, there is SO MUCH GRACE! so much refined movement and simple elegance. daily reminders of our unmerited favor in God. and everything from Him that we don't deserve!
grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt,
yonder on Calvary's mount out-poured,
there where the blood of the Lamb was spilt
grace, grace, God's grace,
grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
grace, grace, God's grace,
grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
grace, grace, God's grace,
grace that is greater than all our sin.
Dark is the stain that we cannot hide,
what can avail to wash it away!
Look! there is flowing a crimson tide;
whiter than snow you may be today.
Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
freely bestowed on all who believe;
you that are longing to see his face,
will you this moment his grace receive?"
grace that is greater than all our sin.
Dark is the stain that we cannot hide,
what can avail to wash it away!
Look! there is flowing a crimson tide;
whiter than snow you may be today.
Marvelous, infinite, matchless grace,
freely bestowed on all who believe;
you that are longing to see his face,
will you this moment his grace receive?"
almost a month ago we received some pretty troubling news. for the past year we have been anticipating a trial for a heinous crime. no one could say with 100% certainty what had happened, but everything pointed to one person that was to blame. we knew all the facts. we had our own beliefs in what should happen, what the punishment should be. but it didn't happen that way. there was never a trial. a plea deal was made. each side "compromised". we are left feeling like it wasn't enough.
I know this is all incredibly vague. but it's all I can give for now. this system, our system, of law and justice, right and wrong. I have had plenty of exposure to dfcs at this point sure, but not a lot of exposure to our actual justice system. this experience left me pretty disappointed in the system. nothing about it seems just.
about 7 days later, I got a text in the middle of the night. two girls we have known and loved for a year were about to be uprooted immediately. no one knew how long. and we didn't really understand why. the girls came to our home that night. it was technically early morning by the time everyone settled in. a week and a half later we don't have a whole lot more answers than we did then. and the ones we do have don't make sense.
Romans 13:1-4
"Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. 17 Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor."
1 Peter 2:13-17
we knew signing up for foster care meant full submission. we have seen where dfcs makes decisions that we don't like or agree with. there are also times where people just plain drop the ball. it can be infuriating. but it has always been apparent that our concern is not whether or not dfcs is in the right. it does not change their authority over us.
but we are still human. I do my best to submit to them as often as needed. but I still have my "why's"? we still have days, where the weight of all of it is just so heavy, breathing seems near impossible. it is really easy to want to give up. it is so easy to just want to walk away and leave the mounds of troubles and discouragement to the next sucker that "feels called".
so did I mention that these girls joined our home on Wednesday of Holy Week?
do you often catch yourself saying "whoa is me?"
have you ever woken up, after 3 hours of sleep, to the reality that you now share your 1400 sq ft home (and ONE toilette) with 8 other people, 5 of which you have to drive to 5 different places every morning? and meanwhile dealing with all the dfcs FUN that is mixed in with it. 9 out of 10 people would probably agree that this merits a pity party and probably a pint of ice cream.
but then Thursday came. I went to our communion service that evening by myself. because who in their right mind would keep 5 children 6 and under out until 8:30 on a week night? so Aaron stayed home with the kids.
we remembered the disciples' last supper with Jesus. and all I could think about was the cross. in the moments when I thought, "Lord, how much longer? how much more?" I immediately all but chuckled at myself. seriously?
I know that people think what we are doing is so noble. so sacrificial. or maybe so crazy. but don't you see?! He gave His LIFE for us! this is nothing in comparison. my life, my home, my husband, my time, my sanity. none of it is truly "mine". so how could I be stingy with it? I deserve death. and He chose ME and gave me life.
grace:
ɡrās/
noun
1.simple elegance or refinement of movement.
"she moved through the water with effortless grace"
synonyms: elegance, poise, gracefulness, finesse; More
2.(in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.
this word has filled my mind through all this. I remember learning about grace in middle school. simply put, I was told it was "getting something you didn't deserve".
I like the first definition, "refinement of movement". getting everyone where they need to go in the morning these days is quite the task. everything must be done properly. children must be in the right car seats in the right order by the right time and then driven to the right places. every movement is refined. I am sure that nothing about it looks elegant. but each morning is such a reminder of grace.
and then there are our oldest boys. Isaiah and Von are "our grace". we did nothing to merit being their parents. I didn't birth them. but yet, our Lord saw fit that our paths cross. and that 8 million little details fall into place so that we could be entrusted with them, for the rest of our lives. it is comforting in the midst of this uncertainty and chaos to know that they are ours. they are handling all of this so well. they have stepped up once again and are giving so much so willingly.
I have also decided that one of the best pictures of grace, is brothers (or sisters) who aren't "brothers" at all by the world's definition, both in need of a home and love, growing any learning together and from each other, for as long as they can.
so I know Easter was a week ago. if I had it together, I would have written this then. lets just rewind 7 days for a minute. Christ gave His life for you to have eternity in paradise.
we went on a cruise the week after the boys adoption. it was wonderful. I wish it could have lasted an eternity.
let's pretend that you are a parent. you tell your kids, "I cashed in everything we own so that we could go and live on a Disney cruise forever! lets get in the car and go." only catch is that you have to drive 6 hours to get there. what an awesome thing, right. eternity on a cruise? surely those 6 hours will be the most peaceful ever. none of your children will fight or complain or ask "are we there yet?" they will just be so happy to have an eternity of wonderfulness that nothing else will matter right? that would make since. but if you have ever spent 10 minutes in a car with children, you can probably assume that is not how it would go.
this analogy reminds me so much of our lives. it's like a 6 hour car ride. in light of eternity, it is so minuscule and insignificant. so why do we worry so much of it about the things that don't matter.
I know our life sounds so hard and undesirable most days. but I can honestly tell you that is so far from the truth. I LOVE every aspect of it. and everywhere we turn, there is SO MUCH GRACE! so much refined movement and simple elegance. daily reminders of our unmerited favor in God. and everything from Him that we don't deserve!
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