2 weeks in...
So in the first couple of posts I gave you losts of reasons why we are doing this. However these past 2 weeks have reminded me of the biggest reason I wanted us to do this. When I first was around a family with foster children in high school, I saw how it made everyone in the family better people. I think we should all be striving to be better.
If you know me at all, you know that I have an on again, off again relationship with running. When I am trying to get back into it, I have the most success if I go ahead and register for a race. I am committing to do something I am not yet capable of, which forces me to train and work harder.
This is similar to how becoming a foster parent has been for me. I've committed to being there in every way possible for a child who doesn't have many other people in their corner. This requires a lot of things. But most importantly it requires me to be less selfish. A LOT less selfish. I used to be able to sleep later, eat what I wanted when I wanted, stay out late, spend money on what I wanted, and so on. No one was counting on me to bath them, feed them, kiss their boo boos, pray with them, play with them, jump on the trampoline with them, give them their medicine and tend to their every need and desire.
Obviously all of that has changed. And surprisingly, I couldn't be more thrilled about it. I have stopped thinking about myself as much and it has almost been a relief. Believe me, I still have a long way to go, but it is a start.
I am also amazed at how much my relationship with Aaron has changed. I would like to know the statistics on how many words the average married couple with no kids says to eachother daily as opposed to the average married couple with a 2 and 3 year old. I would guess it is a 10:1 ratio. At least it feels that way. We are so busy talking to and taking care of then. Even when we do speak, it is usually about the boys. Not us. Or how we are. This makes our words to eachother about eachother that much more powerful. We have the power to make or break each other's day in a single statement. When it was just the two of us, if we said something hurtful there were lots of chances to undo that. But not now.
So let me take this opportunity to say, I'm amazed at how much Aaron has stepped up to this challenge. He has been so patient and strong. I love watching him love these boys. He has definitely grown into a better person. There is no one else I would rather laugh and cry with, every step of the way :)
When I still lived at home, there was a popular Dr. Phil commercial where he said "It's not about you!" Me and my parents would quote it constantly in his voice. He had a funny way of saying it. I can't remember the last time any of us said it out loud. I have said it a million times to myself in the past two weeks. I have been hurt, sad, annoyed, disappointed, scared, confused, angry, frustrated, ignored, manipulated, tired, hungry, hit, scratched, lied to, and yelled at. Just to name a few. And I have only cried 3 times! But at the end of the day, I couldn't dwell on any of that, because it's not about me!
It's about the boys. And their mom. Pray for her too, if you pray for us. I want more than anything for her to be restored. And for this family to be restored. That is what this is about. I'm still learning and I am far from perfect but I am thankful that these boys coming into my life has made me better.
If you know me at all, you know that I have an on again, off again relationship with running. When I am trying to get back into it, I have the most success if I go ahead and register for a race. I am committing to do something I am not yet capable of, which forces me to train and work harder.
This is similar to how becoming a foster parent has been for me. I've committed to being there in every way possible for a child who doesn't have many other people in their corner. This requires a lot of things. But most importantly it requires me to be less selfish. A LOT less selfish. I used to be able to sleep later, eat what I wanted when I wanted, stay out late, spend money on what I wanted, and so on. No one was counting on me to bath them, feed them, kiss their boo boos, pray with them, play with them, jump on the trampoline with them, give them their medicine and tend to their every need and desire.
Obviously all of that has changed. And surprisingly, I couldn't be more thrilled about it. I have stopped thinking about myself as much and it has almost been a relief. Believe me, I still have a long way to go, but it is a start.
I am also amazed at how much my relationship with Aaron has changed. I would like to know the statistics on how many words the average married couple with no kids says to eachother daily as opposed to the average married couple with a 2 and 3 year old. I would guess it is a 10:1 ratio. At least it feels that way. We are so busy talking to and taking care of then. Even when we do speak, it is usually about the boys. Not us. Or how we are. This makes our words to eachother about eachother that much more powerful. We have the power to make or break each other's day in a single statement. When it was just the two of us, if we said something hurtful there were lots of chances to undo that. But not now.
So let me take this opportunity to say, I'm amazed at how much Aaron has stepped up to this challenge. He has been so patient and strong. I love watching him love these boys. He has definitely grown into a better person. There is no one else I would rather laugh and cry with, every step of the way :)
When I still lived at home, there was a popular Dr. Phil commercial where he said "It's not about you!" Me and my parents would quote it constantly in his voice. He had a funny way of saying it. I can't remember the last time any of us said it out loud. I have said it a million times to myself in the past two weeks. I have been hurt, sad, annoyed, disappointed, scared, confused, angry, frustrated, ignored, manipulated, tired, hungry, hit, scratched, lied to, and yelled at. Just to name a few. And I have only cried 3 times! But at the end of the day, I couldn't dwell on any of that, because it's not about me!
It's about the boys. And their mom. Pray for her too, if you pray for us. I want more than anything for her to be restored. And for this family to be restored. That is what this is about. I'm still learning and I am far from perfect but I am thankful that these boys coming into my life has made me better.
Beautiful!
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